Imagine this: you’re in a relationship crossroads. You’re at a crossroads in your relationship. Arguments and misunderstandings are common, you speak different languages, you often feel. The marriage and family counselor is the unsung hero that can untangle the knots.

MFTs are not just for couples who may be on the verge of separation. Families can also benefit from their support. They wear many hats, from coping with parenting issues to grief. What is their job? Their job?

Imagine that Sarah and John have been married for 10 years, but feel more like roommates than partners. After yet another financial argument spiraled out-of-control, they decided to consult an MFT. She didn’t use a magical wand, nor did she offer one solution that would work for everyone. She created an environment where they could both express themselves without being judged.

She asked John gently, during a session: “How do you react when Sarah raises money concerns?” John hesitated, but finally opened up and revealed his concern about financial stability. This anxiety was based on his childhood experience. Sarah was shocked by this revelation, as she had previously interpreted John’s reaction to be stubbornness and not fear.

The techniques used by therapists are tailored to the needs of each family. Others may use role-playing to get people to see the world from another person’s point of view. Some might employ cognitive-behavioral techniques to alter negative thinking patterns that cause conflict.

Let’s be honest, therapy is not always easy. All parties must be committed. You may feel raw or exposed after difficult conversations and emotionally charged moments. True healing can only begin through the most vulnerable of moments.

Take the Martinez family, who had to deal with the rebellious behaviour of their son after they moved cities because Mr. Martinez was transferred for his job–a change he didn’t like either! The therapist recommended weekly meetings for the family where all members could express their feelings openly and respectfully. No interruptions were allowed. These sessions began to focus less on airing complaints and more on finding solutions as a family.

Many people are unaware of the amount of training required to become an MFT. It’s not a walk in the Park! They must first complete a rigorous educational program, followed by clinical supervision before being allowed to practice on their own. This is a testimony of how dedicated they are in helping people navigate the ups and downs of life.

Let’s now talk about stigma, because it is still present when people seek therapy. This is especially true for certain age or cultural groups that view seeking help as weakness. Think about it: If your car breaks, would you attempt to fix it even though you had no mechanical knowledge? You’d probably call an expert mechanic because they are trained and know exactly what they are doing.

Why should mental health differ? Why wouldn’t it make sense to seek professional help if something is off in your relationship or emotionally?

I’ll make you laugh: Try DIY therapy with self-help book alone. It’s the same as trying surgery while watching Grey’s Anatomy. Not exactly recommended, right? These resources are great for providing insights, but they can’t compare to the personalized attention of someone who is trained in this area!

Remember those idioms that we used earlier? Here’s a new one that fits perfectly: “It Takes Two Tango” –meaning successful relationships take effort on both sides. Having someone to guide you can make the difference between dancing awkwardly and gracefully again.

What sets MFTs aside is that they take a holistic view of the individual, taking into account all aspects of their lives within a context of broader family relationships. They don’t just treat isolated symptoms in varying ways elsewhere.

If you’re having trouble with a relationship, don’t be ashamed to seek expert help. It could turn the tide in unforeseen ways.